Sunday, 20 June 2010

The talent bedded by Chris Huhne

Man leaves wife for mistress. Happens every day to ordinary people all over the country. So that's OK then. Selfish and hurtful acts are fine if enough people are victims. It's a mantra we're all going to have to get used to after Tuesday's budget when we will all be shafted one way or another.

It's regrettable, but all part of life's mysterious pattern. And yet if it involves a politician, it makes the front pages of the Sunday newspapers. Bloody journalists. Heaven forbid I would ever use an incident from someone's personal life as justification for a slur.

While I was driving to Sainsbury's last evening to get Ann Widdecombe's weekly shop I got a call from the Fale on Sunday asking if I could write a quick column on Huhne. I am the go-to-guy for trite kneejerk reactionary spiel, tossed off on the hoof. Need a quick reaction that will skirt around the issue and provoke a bit of aggro, say the editors? Call "the tosser".

As I was driving, I shouldn't even have answered the phone let alone haggle for 20 minutes over my fee, which was so paltry I declined. I spent the rest of the journey musing over what I would have written. Suffice to say that it would have been rather friendlier to Chris Huhne and might have gone like this.

The Fale on Sunday says that the LibDem members of the Cabinet were not properly vetted to check they were sufficiently Tory at heart. The rest of the piece is one attack after another on Huhne in a way that I would never indulge. We learn that he is shit at plumbing and has had "a busted flush" for ages. His wife has been nagging him to fix it. And look where that got her. Drove him into the arms of another woman.

Actually, the real story here should indeed be Huhne's infidelity. The way he has been unfaithful to his Lib Dem ideals and lofty environmental policies is scandalous. When he screws his pseudo green agenda by backing nuclear power then people can truly cast judgement on his scruples.

There are many LibDems I don't respect. Multi-millionaire quisling Chris Huhne is not one of them. I could have phrased that more elegantly and in less back-handed fashion.

He is personable, highly intelligent, a multi-millionaire and a man of clear views. I may not agree with many of them, but he is certainly one of the most talented LibDems in the Commons (of the 50 odd there are). His affair doesn't change that but you can rest assured that if he was someone I really detested it bloody well would.

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