Saturday, 12 June 2010

Labour leadership contest: an unbiased Tory perspective

They're all shite. Miliband, David? Rubbish. All very well opening up on the adoption of his sons now, when he wants to come across as having a human side. Eighteen months ago when I profiled him for GWhizz he was very reluctant to talk about that issue as he regarded it as 'private' and told me I could stick my interview up my arse if I mentioned it again. He was particularly miffed by my suggestion that he could never be PM as the British people demand a leader with lead in his pencil as evidenced by the virility displayed by the last 3. Anyway, rather than banging on about his kids, he should try adopting some sensible policies.

The big disappointment in the campaign so far has been his brother Ed, the man I first tipped as next Labour Party leader in that GWhizz article in October 2008 around the same time as lots of other people did. Unlike his brother he doesn't seem hungry enough for the job and one cannot help but suspect that he is only standing because of some long held grievance about a game of Ludo when they were growing up.

Ed Balls? Balls by name etc etc.

Andy Burnham is just desperate. Desperate to highlight his northernness, as evidenced by the very odd decision to base his campaign in an industrial pie eating flat cap wearing whippet racing stereotype. Heaven forbid that a Labour candidate should seek to appeal to the working class grass roots. Tony Blair must be disgusted.

Diane Abbott has wangled her way onto the ballot (by which I mean legitimately secured enough nominations to rightfully be there), and a good thing too. My suspicion is that she will do much better than many people think, purely because people don't have my shrewd insight. And she can bully voters when in a lift with them.

In conclusion, they're all shite.

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