I am sure it was done with the best of intentions but a reader recently emailed me details of an eBay auction for a plate, which he seemed to think I might be interested in buying to serve my dinner on (jerked chicken, naturally).
I may come from Essex but I do possess a modicum of taste. For instance I would never make a sweeping statement that in one fell stroke slurred most people in my home county while elevating myself as being better than them. But I am also so bloody impulsive that before I knew what I was doing I was on eBay bidding for it. It has now arrived in the post and looks a bit grubby but I will get my new personal assistant (Scott Parker who I bought from West Ham on transfer deadline day) to give it a scrub later.
Oh and don't bother sending me any details of personalised number plates that are on sale. I am already perfectly happy with the one I have: