My accusers who say I use hyperbole such as "people who disagree with me should go to hell" just for an eye-catching headline can go to hell

I learnt that advice after accidentally accessing Andy Coulson's phone records. Coulson is so good at his job as a media manager and PR bloke that he has embroiled the government in a scandal about something he did (or didn't) do when he wasn't even working for them. That is how bloody brilliant he is.

I wanted to write a reasoned post that explored the serious allegations about someone now working as Cameron's spin doctor being involved in illegal activities and possible police collusion (or coulsonillusion to give it its proper title) and suggest that perhaps we shouldn't judge someone guilty until they have been proved so(despite my record at doing just the opposite).

But some fucker has hacked into my blog and made me write some quite astonishing stuff based on what my mate Dizzee Fuckwit Rascal reckons. My killer line is "And he [Dizzee Engages Mouth Before He Thinks] takes to task those who refer to hacking and tapping without really knowing what they are talking about..." before I, yes you've guessed it, do just that.

I am really hacked off.