I wasn't on LBC last night. Ages ago I had booked to see Cliff Richard at the Albert Hall so I was jerking my knee in time to Wired for Sound. I left my programme in the more than capable hands of Mehdi Hasan. Hang on. He's a rabid leftie. How the fuck did that happen?
I am really dedicated to my job except when Cliff is in town - then I will let notorious commies into my seat (so to speak).
I reduced Grunt Fucker to tears earlier by playing him Cliff Richard songs. I am an employment tribunal hearing waiting to happen.
Miss You Nights is the best song ever written and is about when I am not on LBC due to attending Cliff Richard concerts.
I would've got another chance at being MP if I hadn't fucked the Tory Party over by watching Summer Holiday on DVD the night they made the selection.
Am I for real? I know it shouldn't matter but can people really take political analysis seriously from someone who reveres Cliff Richard and Roxette.